"We have to dive below to discover the basic problem: These couples have disconnected emotionally; they don't feel emotionally safe with each other. What couples and therapists too often do not see is that most fights are really protests over emotional disconnection. Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Can I count on you, depend on you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need, when I call? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you? Do you need me, rely on me? The anger, the criticism, the demands, are really cries to their lovers, calls to stir their hearts, to draw their mates back in emotionally and reestablish a sense of safe connection."
― Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Couples face many challenges, great and small, that can take a toll on feelings of love and satisfaction. Severe stressors may include resentment, infidelity, intimacy issues, lack of trust, and miscommunication. Differences in communication styles, money, parenting, in-laws, work stresses and the challenges of moving through life stages can create disconnection and throw couples into coping behaviors that increase distance and disconnection between partners. I work with couples in a supportive, non-judgmental environment, to help them explore unaddressed patterns of interaction in which they feel disconnected and alone. I incorporate strategies that empower couples to restore feelings of love and trust.
Couples often seek couples or marriage counseling when the relationship is at a standstill, or if they are unsure whether or not the relationship is worth salvaging. This type of therapy can benefit families with children who have been affected by relationship issues such as divorce, and address the source of the conflict.
Treatment techniques may include the following depending on the client's needs:
- Restoration Therapy
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Gottman Method
- Narrative Therapy
- Analyzing Communication
- Getting to the root of the problem
- Enhancing Intimacy
- Individual Counseling
When a relationship is showing signs of addiction, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and/or severe depression, seek guidance from a counselor immediately, for your safety and your partner.